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Nano EotD

Everything had turned blue. It all seemed so different now, twenty minutes later. Not a long time, really, but time is relative. She sat on the curb and tried to remember what had gone on when things were red, but that was never very clear to her. Red things moved too quickly, were blurry and fungible. One red thing looked much like another, whereas each blue thing was distinct. She took a sip of her beer, but now it tasted like an industrial cleaning product. If it were red, she would have thrown it into the gutter and taken pleasure in the shattering of the glass bottle, the brown glass glinting in the red. But it was blue, and there was a trash can four feet away. It was overflowing, though, so she set the bottle down carefully next to the can.

She went back to her spot on the curb and realized that there was a little rivulet of blood trickling down the sidewalk crack and into the gutter. With the toe of her sneaker, she smeared it in a wide arc, willing herself to see only where it was going, not where it came from. Blood was always red and had the unfortunate tendency to make everything else turn red with it.

It was almost dawn. A very blue time. There was still nobody around (people don't count if they don't move), so she picked her jacket up off the sidewalk and started for home. She hoped, when she got there, that everything would be blue for a while.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
kr8vkat
Oct. 1st, 2004 09:10 am (UTC)
Oooooo!
missmelysse
Oct. 1st, 2004 09:49 am (UTC)
Wow.
pirateguillermo
Oct. 1st, 2004 10:47 am (UTC)
Instacrit
Creepy. Chill-producing.

Here's this woman. Old enough to be drinking beer and being casual about it. Has a home to go to. Probably in her twenties because her disorder is gonna get her locked up soon.

When things go "red", she's violent and revels in the violence. She's sitting on the curb next to a body from which blood is still running out, a little stream flowing to the gutter. She plays with the blood without looking at the body, since looking at the body might bring her back into "red" from blue.

She's gonna hide and pretend whatever it is that just happened didn't happen. Maybe it will just go away.

I think she killed somebody. A grown person? An animal? a child? "People don't count if they don't move," suggests to me that it's a dead (or maybe not dead, maybe just bleeding and unconscious) person.

This woman is outta control and unpredictable. She doesn't control herself, and when she goes "red" she acts violently. People get hurt.

The language is not hot, though -- it's cold, removed. She's blue now, not red. She is trying for dispassionate, but she's afraid. Afraid of herself, but she doesn't assign responsibility to herself. When things are red, they move fast. Maybe this is a world where people have no agency and where things do all the moving and causing. 200 words is not a lot of space in which to establish that. I operate on the assumption that the world is the world I know unless the author tells me otherwise. So here, this is what she perceives and how she thinks about it all, and the person I imagine from that is scary.
feralboy2
Oct. 1st, 2004 03:46 pm (UTC)
Ok, brilliant piece of emotive writing here. Got me curious as to what event brought it on. Whatever it was, savor it, whatever makes us create makes us stronger.
theaggregator
Oct. 1st, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
Coffee shops and all
Today somebody told me about your story "Red" in a coffee house. Hours later I found it hiding in the EotD list.
Says something don't it?
junglemonkee
Oct. 1st, 2004 08:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Coffee shops and all
I'll bet it was layer. She's always so sweet and supportive.

This totally made my day.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )