Saruwatari Ayumi (junglemonkee) wrote,
Saruwatari Ayumi

What Illness Does to a Person

I have some sinus thing, I'm sure. I've got a headache I can't seem to shake and I'm so tired.

I've been laying on the couch watching old movies. To Kill a Mockingbird is always one of my favorites. I watched My Man Godfrey, but I don't get it. Carole Lombard is pretty insufferable and the end just doesn't make any sense to me at all. Apparently, all one has to do to get a man, even a very smart, handsome man of good sense, is to be a blonde ditz with a lot of money. Oh, wait. It makes perfect sense.

My husband has been very introspective lately. He's been thinking about coming apocalypse. I'm not so sure how to react when the person I love more than anything keeps talking about what we're going to do when the world collapses in on itself. It's not so much that I'm worried about myself. Even if I die, my troubles are over. What eats at me day and night is what will happen to my babies. Did I make a mistake having them in the first place? What kind of world did I bring them into? Have I given them the skills that they're going to need to get on in this world and whatever it may turn into?

It's no wonder I'm having trouble sleeping.
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