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Pope-off

I have vague memories of the last Pope-off. The long shots of the Vatican, men using golf whispers to talk about the front runners for the position. There was talk about the remarkable fact that the "new" Pope was Polish, and how would this affect the faith which had been mostly ruled by Italians for a zillion years.

But it was on TV, for crying out loud. You never see the synod picking a new Archbishop of Canterbury televised. The choosing of the Dalai Llama isn't shown on television. As much as Catholics are decried by many, they're still a great spectator sport.

I'm almost sorry I don't have television for this Pope-off. In these interesting times, it's sure to be interesting.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
earthdog
Apr. 4th, 2005 11:25 pm (UTC)
The picking was not really on tv...
The New Llamas are picked by forces outside the world.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 07:34 am (UTC)
And I think it's just Lama... he's not actually a relative of the camel. :)
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
'Sa joke, son! Pay attention!

Although I've already been looked at askance for talking about looking forward to the "Pope-Off." This particular drooling Catholic sniffed in my direction and said "Have some respect. It's a funeral!" And I had to gently explain to them that I wasn't referring to the funeral, I was actually looking forward to another event after the funeral, and that not having any discernable sense of humor does not make one a better Catholic.

People get all weird when it comes to religious jokes, as though somehow unaware than they're living in the middle of a giant spiritual pun.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC)
I think having a completely anti-humor sense might make you a better Catholic, but not a better Christian. But that's the sad Roman analogue to the agnostic Jews I knew in college.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
Although earthdog does have a point. Llamas are chosen by mysterious forces outside the understanding of mere mortals. While camels, alpacas and vicunyas show up the regular way.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC)
is it a virgin birth because they don't want kids in the zoos seeing llamas mating? I guess that's easier than keeping camels from humping in public, huh?
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:56 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's a virgin birth. I think it has something to do with the mysterious mating of FedEx and Kinko's. They're infinitely copying one llama and shipping it overnight all over the world.

And there is a really simple way to get camels to stop humping in public. Store your camels facing each other. One look at another camel's face and all desire is permanently removed.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC)
That sounds good in theory, but Charles and Camilla disprove the application.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:05 pm (UTC)
I believe you're mistaken. They're not disapproving. They just look like that naturally.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC)
Ah, disprove, not dissaprove.

But you're still mistaken. They're horses, not camels.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:08 pm (UTC)
Charles was muttering about bloody commoners and such, not shouting. He shouldn't be hoarse yet.

Maybe he'll get a princemobile to protect him from photographers. Complete with extra-wide ear bays. And a mustache that looks like a chaw spill.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:12 pm (UTC)
Royalty, apart from Italian princesses, do NOT have mustaches. There is nothing that ruins a state dinner faster than the monarch straining the consumme through his cookie duster.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:13 pm (UTC)
Well, that or poking the Italian princess in the whiskers.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:58 pm (UTC)
For the last Pope? It sure was on TV. Just because you didn't Tivo it doesn't mean it wasn't on. ;)

gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:10 pm (UTC)
Was the actual election on tv, or just the announcement of the election? I would guess the latter.
junglemonkee
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:16 pm (UTC)
The actual elections. There were shots of the Vatican, including the smoke that came up to tell when the vote had been taken and whether a new pontiff had been chosen. That's one of my clearest memories. And there were commentators talking about which cardinals were being considered and what their chances were. All of this, though, was taking place against the backdrop of the death of the previous pope, who had served a very short time.

There weren't exactly huge screaming crowds rooting for this or that cardinal, wearing those giant foam-rubber "#1" fingers.
gallifreyan
Apr. 5th, 2005 05:34 pm (UTC)
That's the announcement, not the actual picking, from what I can tell. I read somewhere that the actual selection process is rather private, hence the only news coming from the selection being via white or black smoke.

I figured earthdog was talking about the actual cloistered meetings where they discuss and pray and vote. It's not like a roll call vote in Congress where each person stands up on CSPAN and says yay or nay.

Although I'd wear one of those foam rubber fingers for the pope.
earthdog
Apr. 6th, 2005 04:35 am (UTC)
That is what I was talking about. We did not see Cards talk about who they wanted and why. You did not see them trade favors. You did not see them call each other dumb. We only saw them walking around before and after.
junglemonkee
Apr. 6th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)
Still and all, it's more than you see of the inner workings of any other religion, which is mystifying to me. You'd think that you could get some kind of documentary team to follow when you search for the reincarnation of another lama (sort of "Little Buddha," but without Keanu Reaves), or get some medium-range shots of the mosque where another imam is being chosen.

Frankly, I think it would make FABULOUS reality TV. Put all the cardinals in a room, and have them vote each other out.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )