I left pirateguillermo here to geek out with his dad the Mathemagician and struck out for Fantasy Cuts (recommended both by pirateguillermo's mother and my sister, but they had nothing. I decided to just drive up PCH until I found someplace that would take me as a walk-in.
What I found was the Old Lady Oasis, better known as Leon's. It's in an area of Redondo Beach called Riviera Village, near the beach where all the rich old ladies live. None of the stylists was younger than fifty, and the clientelle were all a generation older.
These ladies were the kind who weren't succumbing to age without a fight, but that fight includes socializing with your friends once a week. They walked in wearing their velour track suits and those little visors holding their cotton candy hair out of their eyes, they sat in the chairs while they talked about their great-grandchildren to the women who were foofing, teasing, spraying great piles of hair.
I am Old™, but I was still the youngest person in that place. It was kind of fun. The woman doing my hair was Persian and told me how to say butterfly in Farsi.
Now, I've gone from having a dead cat on my head to having a sheep on my head. It'll calm down. I hope. Worst-case scenario, I have yet another hilarious hair story. It'll grow out.