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Feeling terribly vulnerable

So, three weeks ago, my desktop computer blew up. One night it was working and being just fine (if you can call the regular malfunction of several systems rendering certain functions unusable fine), and the next minute, it was a paperweight. No worries. I've been using the Pirate's laptop to write from for quite some time, and have been regularly backing my stuff up to cds, so I'm not in imminent danger of losing my novel, but there are certain network functions resident on that machine that are now non-operational. It's annoying.

Lately, I've noticed that the laptop has begun to act...unpredictably. It won't always boot correctly on the first go. I get the BSOD occasionally and have to start over. Most worrisomely, although I am being reminded on a regular basis to run LiveUpdate, it doesn't appear that it's working. The virus definitions are being updated, but it doesn't look like Norton is actually doing anything.

So then, tonight, after an HOUR of solid writing, the laptop crashed. I just sat there, lamely pushing buttons and feeling numb. It can't just CRASH. That does't happen. I was able to hold its hand and shut down, one by one, the things that had been running (my cd, dictionary.com, the downloaded text of "Treasure Island") but it didn't help. The writing that I had been doing for the past hour was going to be eaten up too.

I wailed at the poor Pirate that I was angry and felt like some evil forces are trying to prevent me from ever finishing the book. I have done some drastic re-thinking of my premise and have started re-writing some major chunks of the book, so this is a big deal. We agreed that the best thing to do would be for me to get a keychain drive to store the parts I'm working on until they can be incorporated into a larger file and written to a cd. So, that's going to happen tomorrow.

In the meantime, I was able to recover the file and only lost a couple of paragraphs. I feel so frightened and vulnerable now. I hate this. I'm still petitioning to move to a monastery where I can have monks transcribing my writing by hand, illuminating the text as they go along, and making really good bread, honey and wine in their spare time. If anyone knows of a gig like this, let me know. I'd be willing to become Christian, if that's what it takes. Maybe. I'd have to see the accomodations first.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 15th, 2003 11:20 pm (UTC)
Hey, I know that cold sweaty feeling when the computer crashes after having composed what, during the composition you weren't really evaluating, but in retrospect is brilliant unrepeatable stuff! Anyway, it sounds like, gulp, you need to reformat the hard drive and start over. Or upgrade to Windows XP -- XP is really sweet, and rarely if ever crashes. I'm not kidding, the BSOD is a thing of the past. Really a rock-solid operating system, with a lot of little touches that make it really nice to use. But forget about the nice touches -- it's the stability that matters in the end.
Jun. 16th, 2003 08:48 am (UTC)
You've been so kind and generous
I want to thank you thank you, thank you thank you...

Anyway, even without benefit of Natalie Merchant, I do want to say that you have been inspirational, giving me encouragement and advice, etc. I have made several determinations based on the sage words you've offered, and I want you to know that I'm both listening and appreciating.

Writing is a solitary and lonely business, and it's a balm to the soul to have friends who understand.
Jun. 16th, 2003 12:24 pm (UTC)
Re: You've been so kind and generous
Appreciate the sentiments! You know, the true power of this LJ thing is that it makes it easy to support each other in our little community. At first I was leery about joining, but now I wish I had done so months ago.

Oh yeah, now I know why the NanoEdmo mailing group is so quiet -- I often felt like I was the only one contributing and that my posts were more annoying than anything else. Looks like all the good stuff was going on right here!

I'm off to lunch...where I plan to get in about 45 minutes of solid creativity time!

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )