Before you start pummeling me with animosity, remember that I have rescued many of the things from an untimely death, because dislike is different than wishing harm.

So, one of my little blighters has been limping around the house this evening with a limp tail and stiff hindquarters. I'm worried because in the past with another cat this was the outcome of a raccoon fight and resulted in having to put the cat down because she was dying from the tail upward. It's a jar to suddenly see the same initial symptoms in an otherwise healthy cat who shows no signs of damage.

I get to cart him over the hill tomorrow to his vet to have her look at him. They'll likely have to sedate him because he bites when he's scared, although pirateguillermo has the power to bathe him and harrass him uninjured.

I panic when something happens to the cats, not just because they are under my stewardship and my very dislike of them means that I had better treat them very well or people will become suspicious, but because I feel like a personal failure when things in my care die, even though all beings are mortal. I felt bad when the cat entrusted to me by an old boyfriend died after 18 years. I felt bad when the giant tiger salamanders began dying off after several years.

With luck, it's something stupid and minor. I'm more than willing to feel like an idiot for dragging the poor cat into the vet for nothing at all.