Saruwatari Ayumi (junglemonkee) wrote,
Saruwatari Ayumi

The Odd Movie Review

Every once in a while, I find myself with enough time on my hands to watch a movie. And because I'm a middle child, I want you to listen to me talk about it.

This little number came all the way from 1998 to haunt me. Meet Joe Black was one that pirateguillermo put into his queue, and now I'm wondering what on earth possessed him.

Anthony Hopkins is William Parrish, a media mogul about to turn 65. He has two daughters, Allison (Marcia Gay Harden)and Susie (Claire Forlani). Allison is neurotic, trying to put on a world-record-setting birthday party for her father. Her husband Quince (Jeffrey Tambor) is a quietly supportive sort of milquetoast. Susie is engaged to Drew (Jake Weber), but she doesn't love him. She meets Brad Pitt in a coffee shop and he piques her interest. The best scene in the movie is them walking in opposite directions from the coffee shop, stopping and looking back at different times so that each doesn't see the other looking. And then he's crushed to smithereens being hit by two successive cars as he's staring at her.

And that's just the first fifteen minutes.

The Good: The first fifteen minutes were charming. Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani are pretty people moving around in nice clothes, and that's not horrible. pirateguillermo thinks she needs about five sandwiches, though. Good point. There was one minute of nice interaction between Brad Pitt and a woman in a hospital.

The Bad: Claire Forlani is beautiful but her delivery is either completely wooden or beset with her trademark nervous tics. Brad Pitt ends up most of the time with a smile on his face that says "I just farted." The entire movie vacillated between dead boring and painful. The scenes between Claire Forlani and Brad Pitt dragged so much that I couldn't watch them. The scenes about the corporate maneuvering were entirely predictable, as every one of the characters in those scenes was 2-dimensional.

The Ugly: This movie was insidious. We sat there, fooled by the initial interest of the first 15 minutes, while it slowly, stealthily, sucked every bit of oxygen out of the room. I finally passed out.

I have hickeys on my eyes.

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