April 6th, 2004

kanji danger

I'm Sad That I'm Flying...

Feeling sort of pathetically pathetic. There is nothing wrong in my life, I'm just...pathetic. If I were a dog, I'd be lying on the porch moving nothing but my eyebrows as I watched squirrels eating my food.

I'm feeling squished for time, and my defense mechanism when I feel squished for time is to be purposely wasteful of it. This very instant, for instance, I am supposed to be creating a new manual that I have to have done in two hours. It's not physically possible. I feel like the miller's daugher in Rumplestiltskin. On the other hand, somewhere inside of me there is a little imp riding around a campfire on a giant spoon who will come out and produce that manual by noon. And everyone will think it was me.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy

Okay, Feeling Better

It's a quarter of three here, and since that last post I have finished and submitted that manual, eaten lunch, put a couple of miles on the treadmill and had a shower. I feel pretty justified in sitting on my ass for the rest of the day.

Not that it's likely to happen. mortaine and I are supposed to go shopping after work, and then I have plenty to do once I get home. Like...kissing on my family, which I could spend hours doing. They're just so smoochilicious.

I'm still a little torn, though. I was talking to pirateguillermo after the reading I did on Friday. It was really well-received, and I felt about it the way I've felt about other readings: my stuff is as good as any of this, and better than a lot of it. He said that if he were me, he would be frustrated because my stuff is better than a lot of other readers who were already published and my stuff isn't published yet.

That's not why I'm frustrated. I know exactly why it isn't published. It's because there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to earn a living, take care of my family, take care of myself and finish this novel by the end of the week. It's slow going, and I always feel criminally self-indulgent when I'm writing and neglecting other things.

I'm not sure what to do about this.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated

New Pirate

Well, not really new, just a change of name. His first choice of name was internally inconsistent, so he changed it to something more suitable.

He's now pirateguillermo. If you want to friend him, he'd probably be delighted.
  • Current Mood
    excited excited