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An Almost Awful Confession

I love eating babies with ketchup.
I love eating babies with cheese.
Fileting their fat little bellies.
Deboning their knobbly knees.

At breakfast I just have a nibble.
At lunch I could eat one or two.
And if I’ve not eaten a thing all day long,
At dinner, I scarf quite a few.

I know that it vexes my neighbors.
My husband’s quite out of his mind.
But my predilection for babies
Isn’t random, unthinking or blind.

I limit my baby consumption
To children that nobody likes.
The kind of kids other folks growl at
And dream of impaling on spikes.

Those children are often quite nasty,
Their parents have let them be spoiled.
Which means they’re delightful as roasters;
They don’t need to be fried or boiled.

I never eat sweet, pleasant babies.
I only eat bad, rotten kids.
And decades from now when you notice the change,
You’ll be awfully glad that I did.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 6th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
Jan. 7th, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
Will you marry me?

Several friends have recently produced babies, creating the expected Squeeeeeee! effect in me. But Michele warned me, as I babbled on about their sweet little tiny toes, that I should stop comparin said toes to kernels of corn, or nobody would ever let me near their baby again. Sigh.
Jan. 7th, 2006 12:19 am (UTC)
I love this!
Jan. 7th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
Wow that's awesome! How long did it take you to write this?
Jan. 7th, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC)
I thought of it yesterday morning and was flitting around my house singing it as I worked. And then yesterday afternoon, I wrote it down, filling in the parts that weren't complete in my mind.
Jan. 9th, 2006 12:11 am (UTC)
it's awesome, you should submit it.
Jan. 7th, 2006 02:24 am (UTC)
Mmm, yummy.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )