I talked to my younger sister - she's flying out from Chicago to see the family. When I said that I wasn't going because I just didn't feel comfortable, she was outraged. She didn't seem to understand that I have no idea what to say when I can't even visit my nephew. All I can do is mill around on the periphery and feel like an idiot for being in the way.
My sister freaked out at the idea that I would feel like I was in the way, and I told her that I feel stressed when I have guests, so it's natural for me to assume that other people are similarly affected. Her response was "Why do you keep begging me to come out there? I'm never coming to see you. It'll stress you out." Thanks. That's helpful. From my stepmother's email, the hordes are descending on the house as we speak.
You know, there's no tragedy so awful that a heaping helping of family drama can't make it worse.