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I've been playing phone tag with my sister. My nephew is still in the hospital and not out of the woods yet. When I listened to my sister, her voice sounded tired - so tired she couldn't even worry anymore. She's spending all day, every day in the hospital, but they're not letting anyone else besides his wife visit him.

I talked to my younger sister - she's flying out from Chicago to see the family. When I said that I wasn't going because I just didn't feel comfortable, she was outraged. She didn't seem to understand that I have no idea what to say when I can't even visit my nephew. All I can do is mill around on the periphery and feel like an idiot for being in the way.

My sister freaked out at the idea that I would feel like I was in the way, and I told her that I feel stressed when I have guests, so it's natural for me to assume that other people are similarly affected. Her response was "Why do you keep begging me to come out there? I'm never coming to see you. It'll stress you out." Thanks. That's helpful. From my stepmother's email, the hordes are descending on the house as we speak.

You know, there's no tragedy so awful that a heaping helping of family drama can't make it worse.



( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 16th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
It does seem strange that you won't visit others because you worry about stressing them out, but that others not wanting to visit you for the same reason comes off as offensive.
Feb. 16th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC)
Maybe the context didn't come across. She was telling me that I was stupid for feeling that I would be an imposition and throwing my discomfort in my face. That was the offensive part.
Feb. 16th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
Isn't this the same sister who is so much of an extrovert, she can't stand to be alone for 24 hours? I'm the kind of person who would go, but I don't deal well with crises by myself, and I'm selfish enough to impose in hard times.

Anyway: my thoughts are with you and your family right now. I think you're doing the right thing, and taking things one day at a time is the only way to go.
Feb. 16th, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC)
I'm praying for you and your family -- family life can be so hard during crises, especially if you have conflicting styles.
Feb. 17th, 2006 06:08 pm (UTC)
good thoughts being sent your way
I'm not sure what happened to your nephew, but I hope that he will be OK. My thoughts are with you and your family.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )