Saruwatari Ayumi (junglemonkee) wrote,
Saruwatari Ayumi

Nigerian Spam Gets Personal

I just got a Nigerian spam, and for the first time, it's claiming to be from a chick. It doesn't start out with the usual "I am [an obscure bureaucrat] entrusted with a gazillion dollars..."

This one gives me the life story of Princess Funmilayo Badmos, who has apparently been discriminated against because of her gender. At the beginning of the letter it's honestly not clear whether it's the standard Nigerian spam or a personal ad, especially with lines like this:

I would like to build up a solid foundation with that person that will be in the anals of my life and that of my family.

Well, if it's a personal ad, you've got a better chance if you get your kinks out right up front, right?

But we get down to business in the next sentence where her father is a king, but he died, and her mother is illiterate and she's left alone in charge of her eight siblings. She's about to be cheated out of her gazillions if she doesn't move soon, so she's made this determination:

Like they say is good to make hess while the sun shines I agreed with my Family (My Mother and my Youger Brother) to Transfer this Sum out of the Securty Company and posibly Invest it abroad too before the knowlegde of those greedy Fellows.

Well, I've got a lot on my plate right now, and even the prospect of 20% of a gazillion dollars can't tempt me. Good luck to Princess Funmellow Badass.

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