Saruwatari Ayumi (junglemonkee) wrote,
Saruwatari Ayumi

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Dumb Meme. Really dumb.

Age: 38

Where'd you grow up: The wild suburbs of Phoenix Arizona

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
a canal, if there's actually water in it. arroyo seco if there isn't. there are more arroyos than canals.

2. What the thing you push around the grocery store?
my sister

3. A metal container to carry a meal in?

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in? someone else's kitchen. I've never actually cooked bacon and eggs in my life, although I've been offered it at other people's houses

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
sheep dog. the piece of furniture that seats two people is a labrador.

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof? the closest thing we had was bushes, but they're more the thing on the ground that keeps your dirt from being washed into the street as the 5-minute Biblical downpour hits in July.

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening? mall (it's either too hot or too cold out to be outside in the evening)

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
water. it's all about water. anything else will dehydrate you.

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
buñuelos - usually served around New Year's Day

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
sandwich, regardless of size or design. and who, by the way, "designs" sandwiches? Like, are there sandwich blueprints and plans? Is there some sort of sandwich zoning board or approval committee?

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
Beach? You mean Big Surf? And it's the same as chicks wear. Bathing suits.

12. Shoes worn for sports?
Tennies. Unless you're one of those die-hard jocks, in which case you have running shoes or cleats or tennis shoes (which are different than tennies).

13. Putting a room in order?
I still don't have a name for that, as it's never been done at a house I've lived in.

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
Scourge of God? There's no such thing in Phoenix. The only thing we have that flies and glows in the dark is heat lightening, and if you try to put it into a jar, you get what you deserve.

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
potato bugs (I know that they're actually wood lice, and that there are actual potato bugs which are an entirely different thing, but since we had no woods AND no potato plants, it was beside the point.)

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
Too f***ing hot to sit down on because some rotten kid stole the seats and the only way you could use it is to sit directly down on the long metal pole. And if it's not too f***ing hot, it's too cold and your butt will stick.

17. How do you eat your pizza?
Take at least three slices (even if you can't eat that much) because you have six brothers and sisters and if you don't take a lot now, there won't be any left if you want more. Then take it into your room and close the door. Pick off all the toppings you don't like. Pull the remaining toppings off in one mass resembling thick vomit and put them in your mouth and then drop them back out making barf noises. Eat the crust. Feed the toppings to the dog. Be mad because they *always* order pineapple on the pizza. Gross.

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
Yard sale. I didn't see a garage until I moved to California.

19. What's the evening meal?
a Lord-of-the-Flies-style free-for-all.

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
You can't put anything under a house in Phoenix, because there are layers of caliche under the top 3 inches of dust that we use for soil. We have read about cellars and basements, and the closest I could figure was that if you were either rural or poor, you had a cellar and if you were either urban or rich, you had a basement.

21. An unusually heavy rain which does not last long.
July, August and occasionally the first week of September

22. A window covering on rollers that pulls down.
security shutters. Not used so much for security as for insulation.

23. A new, limited access, multi-lane road.
When I was a kid, there were exactly two: one running north/south and one running east/west. We called them "freeways." Now, there are about two dozen crisscrossing and intersecting each other and going out to all of the major shopping sites of greater Phoenix. And they're called "expressway," "highway," "freeway," "corridor" and "interstate." So we just refer to them all by number, like everyone else.

24. Heavy garments worn for work.

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