I was talking to my mother about sundry and various things, and we finally got around to politics. My mother has lived in Arizona for ~50 years, and has seen John McCain's political career since the beginning. Her opinion of John McCain overlooks his many political shortcomings and focuses on what's really important:

"John McCain can't be president! His teeth are yellow and he can't raise his arms above his head!"

When the Pirate heard that, he laughed extremely hard and then said "That's awesome! That's AWESOME! I have to slap my head with meat!"

Someone...tell me what that's a euphemism for.