Saruwatari Ayumi (junglemonkee) wrote,
Saruwatari Ayumi

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Feeling Not Special And Liking It

Whenever I feel like I'm the only one being ganged-up-on, it's nice to come here and see that everyone's in the same boat and chained to the same bench, heaving the same oars.

Last Monday, our company got the word that we would have to take three weeks of shutdown during the coming quarter. Our particular group only has to take a week off, though, as many of our products are in high demand. Good for us. I had immediately decided that I would take this week off so that I could get as much done on the re-write of my novel as time allowed. I also wanted to finish up a short that I had talked about with a friend. But on Friday morning, my boss said that he needed some stuff done by today. "I'm out next week," I told him. But he "suggested" that perhaps I could use the money and that this was important. I let myself be talked into coming in this week, although I had already made plans to be out of town on Thursday.

Well, the Baby showed up yesterday sick. I emailed my boss and told him that I had to stay home with her, and that since I had already planned to take off Thursday as well, I would just take the week off anyway. I did say that I would finish the work he had asked of me. Well, I spent yesterday juggling the punkiest baby in the world and a pile of marketing specs and laundry and other household duties. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. First thing this morning I was greeted by an email saying "You really need to come in this week. Let me know your availability." This shortly before the still-sick Baby spewed her displeasure down my front.

I am angry at a corporate culture where the fact that management has made major product changes (combining six products into one) three weeks before a major trade show becomes my personal emergency, and where my boss takes my need to ensure my child's well-being as a sign of my laziness or disloyalty. I am angry at all of our inability to stand up and say "Have a little respect for my needs, not all of which are fulfilled by the money that this job provides!" Mostly, I'm angry at my own inability not to do everything. I'm not superwoman, and it pisses me off.

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