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At Least It Wasn't an Anal Probe

Somebody has apparently removed my brain from my cranium, wrapped it in several layers of bubble wrap, and smashed it back into my skull. I know this because for the past week, my emotions have been suspiciously dulled, and I have had the mother of all headaches.

Some asshat at work laughed that it's probably a tumor and I'm going to die soon, but I turned to our governator for words of reassurance. "It's naht a tooomuh."

My doctor says it's stress, and that my body is just shutting down because otherwise I'll have a heart attack and die. But that's just so freakin' boring. I have a hard time believing that it would be something so...pedestrian.

I prefer to think that this is a product of an alien abduction and that I'm the subject of a bizarre experiment.

MEMO TO ALIENS CONDUCTING EXPERIMENT
(translator microbes - do your thing, here)
If you remove the brain of a human being, wrap it in bubble wrap and then jam it back into the cranium, not only will the subject not "think bubbly thoughts," but they will very likely be less productive, less interesting and very cranky because now they have a screeching headache AND bad hair.

Bad experiment! No biscuit! Bad! Bad!

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
kr8vkat
Mar. 19th, 2004 09:05 am (UTC)
:-(

I hate persistent headaches. have you gone to the chiro yet?? It might help.
junglemonkee
Mar. 19th, 2004 09:41 am (UTC)
Ha! It's Dr. Stein that told me that I'm a giant walking fist of tension! And the really ironic part was that she asked me if I wanted her to do an adjustment and I couldn't - I didn't have time because I'd scheduled 3 appointments back-to-back!

But I have an appointment today, another Monday, Wednesday, Friday, etc....

Things are gonna get better!
alleahna
Mar. 19th, 2004 03:18 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about the chronic headaches. My dad has them as well and has had for the last several months. Doctors ran all sorts of tests and they couldn't find anything conclusive and it was definitely not anything lingering from the stroke. They only started getting better when he started seeing a massage therapist mom recommended. He's been going regularly and the pain is significantly lessened.

Even a fifteen minute chair massage might be something to consider.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )