I totally forgot about the ticket until the "courtesy notice" showed up three and a half weeks later. Those Mountain View cops. So courteous. They suck too.
I found out that you can take traffic school online, which does not suck, but that it has a bizarre user interface, which does suck. You can jump back and forth within any of the 12 chapters to your heart's content, but once you have taken the quiz, you cannot do anything to adjust the window in which it appears, or the window disappears and you are logged out. Once you are logged out, you have to log back in again and start the test over again, with totally different questions. This woudln't be so stupid, except that by default the windows are not full-screen and when I tried to click the full screen button so that I could reach the scroll bar, it disappeared. Like an octopus. And that sucks.
Each chapter takes about 15 minutes, if you're paying attention. I could get through traffic school in 4 hours. But then you have to show up in person for a test somewhere. That sucks.
You still have to pay your fee, and you can do that by phone. It's more expensive to take traffic school than it is just to forfeit bail, and that sucks. The worst is that the pay by phone system is not at all intuitive, takes about 20 minutes from start to finish (all the while you're listening to a recording, not even interesting hold music) and it's easy to miss your selected option because the recordings are all courtesy of the Eeyore family. That sucks.
All this so that I can retain my privilege to drive my sorry ass back and forth to work. That really, really sucks.