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Death Isn't As Bad As You Think

Slurped from missmelysse

We regret to announce the unpleasant demise of Junglemonkee, who on the 4th of May of this year was delicately buried alive by a large rabid squirrel. This unfortunate incident occurred in the forest behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Zounds! I am undone!" just before expiring. Junglemonkee is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 2nd of next month.

Wow. I guess it takes nearly two months to get all the necessary heads of state together, and to formulate the necessary "Tribute On Ice." Splashy funerals take time. I just hope the gerbils have had a whip-round to pay for it.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 14th, 2004 10:11 pm (UTC)
I hang my head in sorrow and sigh the tragic loss of a friend taken too soon.

Jun. 14th, 2004 11:32 pm (UTC)
I'm jealous. Your death was much better than mine. Oh well. The world will raise a glass to us each May 26th, as it is our birthday. Hey...maybe they'll have a holiday to celebrate it! Something where people can stop and remember us and how cool we were and grieve that we were taken so young, so beautiful, so full of promise...

And, it could mean a three-day weekend for everyone! Oh, this just gets better and better!
Jun. 15th, 2004 08:10 am (UTC)
I will be dressed at the Walrus at your Tribute On Ice.
Jun. 15th, 2004 08:18 am (UTC)
Oh good, because you're on right after the Rodney King beating reinactment as done by Brain Boitano and the cast of Sesame Street on Ice.

Let the gerbils know what you need in the way of scenery, props and nuns, and they'll take care of it for you.
Jun. 15th, 2004 09:56 am (UTC)
Those pesky bears!
We regret to announce the unpleasant passing of Hangedwoman, who on the 5th of July of this year was viciously smothered in hot fat by bears. This unfortunate incident occurred in an adult bookstore in Las Calamas, CA. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Not again!" just before expiring. Hangedwoman is survived by some large debts. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.
Jun. 15th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
Re: Those pesky bears!
If you're going to be turned into hot pot, I hope they at least serve your with tasty sauce.

I've saved a place for you next to me on the Bus to Paradise. We're stopping in Schenectady first, though.
Jun. 15th, 2004 11:15 am (UTC)
mine was way too close to real life to post. suffice it to say it had something to do with a drunken neighbor and an out of control vehicle...

i want gerbils. all i left behind was house plants. :( the dog must've been with me at the time of the crash.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )