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Death Isn't As Bad As You Think

Slurped from missmelysse

We regret to announce the unpleasant demise of Junglemonkee, who on the 4th of May of this year was delicately buried alive by a large rabid squirrel. This unfortunate incident occurred in the forest behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Zounds! I am undone!" just before expiring. Junglemonkee is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 2nd of next month.

Wow. I guess it takes nearly two months to get all the necessary heads of state together, and to formulate the necessary "Tribute On Ice." Splashy funerals take time. I just hope the gerbils have had a whip-round to pay for it.

Comments

hangedwoman
Jun. 15th, 2004 09:56 am (UTC)
Those pesky bears!
We regret to announce the unpleasant passing of Hangedwoman, who on the 5th of July of this year was viciously smothered in hot fat by bears. This unfortunate incident occurred in an adult bookstore in Las Calamas, CA. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Not again!" just before expiring. Hangedwoman is survived by some large debts. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.
junglemonkee
Jun. 15th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
Re: Those pesky bears!
If you're going to be turned into hot pot, I hope they at least serve your with tasty sauce.

I've saved a place for you next to me on the Bus to Paradise. We're stopping in Schenectady first, though.