Everyone seems to have a cold lately (at least, many people I work with or live with). I need lots and lots of soup. The problem is that I'm normally the only one at home, so I have to make it myself, and I won't eat canned soup because that shit is just nasty. Hence, the invention of

Three Nap Soup
1 boneless, skinless chicken breast
2 stalks celery, sliced
2 carrots, sliced
1 onion, diced
3 chicken bouillon cubes
2 oz. wide egg noodles (more or less, I always just dump a bunch out of the improbably-large bag)
1 T. dried parsley
salt
pepper

1. In a very, very large pot (a stock pot if you have one) put about a gallon of water and your one sad little chicken breast. Heat on medium-high. Drink a glass of juice and take a nap. (~30 minutes)
2. Remove chicken breast from liquid. Add bouillon cubes, celery, carrots and onion. Dice or shred chicken and add to pot. Drink a glass of juice and take a nap. (~30 minutes)
3. Add noodles and parsley, salt and pepper. Cover, lower heat. Drink a glass of juice and take a nap. (~30 minutes).

Have some soup. It's good for you.

For the love of my life (who is vegan), I make this tasty variant using the comfort food of my childhood - barley.

Veggie Three Nap Soup
2 oz. pearl barley
2 carrots, sliced
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 onion, sliced
1 can crushed tomatoes
5 large mushrooms, sliced
1 can peas
1 can green beans
1 T. dried parsley

1. In very large pot, put 1 quart water, barley, carrots, celery and onion. Heat on medium. Drink a glass of juice and take a nap. (~30 minutes)
2. Add remaining ingredients and lower heat. Drink a glass of juice and take a nap. (~30 minutes)

Have some soup.

Okay, I realize that the veggie version only involves two naps, but you can take another nap after you've eaten your soup.

Bon apetit, and hope you feel better.