I just found out this morning that we have a major problem. We knew about the one three-legged black and white cat. That's not a big deal. We also found two young gray cats that I nicknamed the Olsen twins because they're unbelievably skinny. Now it seems that there is at least one more adolescent gray cat, and that these three adolescent gray cats are breeding a whole bunch more. There's a litter of at least six (that we've counted) very brand-new kittens (they're small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, but they're awake, eyes open and walking, so they're no more than a month old).

Now, these kittens don't have anywhere to be (apparently) but under our deck. We had a party and they've invaded big-time, with their adolescent parents diving into the trash cans for chicken bones and scraps of burger bun. I'm worried about them carrying pests, getting sick, and worse - producing more kittens.

There's a place in Santa Cruz that will do low-cost altering of feral cats, but they have to be trapped first and apparently we'd have to do the trapping - but we'd be on the hook for $25/cat. That's currently $225 (six babies and three adolescents) spent on cats I don't want or like. Not to mention that we just bought a house - we don't have two pennies to rub together right now, let alone that much money to fix cats that aren't ours.

Here's the ethical dilemma - I could just call the humane society, have them all picked up, and be pretty damn confident that they will be picked up, placed up for adoption (possibly) for a few days, and then put to sleep. This is no skin off my nose whatsoever. On the other hand, just because I don't like cats doesn't mean I think they have to die. That's not right either.

I'm at a loss, here, people. I need Wilford Brimley BAD. I need to know the right thing to do AND a way to do it.